Cliché
by Fuyu no Miko Sama
Summary: PARODY. MUCHO HUMOR. 100 guarantee you will laugh. Hard. My own spin on numerous Inuyasha clichés. All Pairings. Rated for Cussing, and whatever else happens along the way. My fingers have a mind of their own XD Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sess. SessKag
1. Chapter 1 Preface

**Cliché**

By Fuyu no Miko Sama (aka Miko-Sama or Fuyu-Sama, I go by both XD)

PARODY. My own spin on numerous Inuyasha clichés. All Pairings. Rated for minor cussing. Commissions welcomed, and will be thought over. Don't expect it to be done right away though. I'm still a poor high school student with a helluva lot of homework to do XP Laughs guaranteed! I had lots of fun writing this :D

**DISCLAIMER: I no own anything related to Inuyasha and co.…:sniff:…:runs away crying: Sadly, all I own are the clothes on my back and a whole shit load of manga…..what a sad life I lead…..well, at least I have chocolate….**

**PREFACE** (PLEASE READ)

1)I am just having fun! Plz don't hurt me

2)I'm not trying to mock anyone

3)There will be various pairings

**4)Plz don't flame for any of the above reasons**

5)If you've read this you can move on to chappie 2! Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sesshoumaru.

The below just goes into detail of the afore mentioned points. If you're a keener you can go read that too, but if I were you, I'd just get on to the actual story…

6)What are you still doing reading this?!?! GO TO THE FIRST STORY. Go on push that arrow button thingy that takes you to the next chappie…

7)You're still reading my random crap……GO! GO NOW!

Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sess Pt1 **Posted:** Jan.14/07 Edited: Jan.15/07

Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sess Pt2 **Posted:** Jan.22/07 Edited: N/A

Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sess Pt3 **Posted:** Feb.21/07 Edited: N/A

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A recap of my points in detail:

Please note that I, as the author, in no way write this story as a way to intentionally make others feel bad. I MOCK NO ONE'S WRITING!!! Not saying clichés are bad either; some people do a really good job of it. It all depends on the author, and I have lots of faves XD

I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so if you are easily offended please don't read. I MEAN NO HARM!!! Don't Hurt ME!

In addition, there will be a wide range of pairings (eventually XD I am really slow when it comes to writing), so please don't flame because you don't like the pairing.

I'm just having fun, so no hard feelings k?

And lastly, PLEASE note that I am still a student with tons of homework to do at any given time. Thusly, Update times will VARY. I will either wait till I finish a story to post it (unlikely, because I wouldn't want you guys to wait too long), or I will post it in parts (as with my first one, because I wanted you guys to know what my writing for this is going to be like).

Eventually, I might find the time to go back and put scattered parts together. These are all supposed to be one-shots, but sometimes I just don't have the time to finish them in one go (thus the updates in parts). So know that I probably won't write any sequels. Unless of course my fans REALLY want me to…and seeing as I'm lazy, it'd better be lots of fans, 'cause I'd need the motivation.

OKAY, everyone cool? Awesome. Now on with my first one-shot, part one!


	2. Chapter 2 Healing an Injured Sess

Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sess

Date: Jan 14, 2007

Pairing: Sess/Kag

EDITED: Jan 15, 2007 (HUGE THX and many chocolate ship cookies to Fiasco and jo jo for being my first two reviewers!! I wuv you! Expect a mention in the next part, whenever I get it done 3)

Summary: Kagome finds Inu with Kik (big surprise -.-) and runs away, only to come across an injured Demon Lord she feels compelled (hey I'd be compelled too XD) to help. Will love ensue? You bet your ass it will!

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Kagome was walking along, minding her own business, when all of a sudden she tripped and stumbled into a clearing. What was up with that?!? She was always stumbling into clearings! Wasn't it enough that she had no cooking skills to speak of? But now she had to be clumsy too? Life was unjust.

She huffed as she got up and brushed dirt off of her skirt.

Kagome was very upset, because now she had ruined yet another skirt. She was so very upset, that she failed to notice Inuyasha and Kikyo locked in a passionate embrace, under the tree a few feet away.

The couple just continued their activities and waited for her to notice what they were doing. Because everyone knows this story will get nowhere until Kagome runs away crying because of them.

"Great, another skirt ruined. Mama's just gonna love this. What's this make now? A million and one?"

Thinking along the lines of skirts she came to wonder why the hell her skirt never flipped up, even when in battle. Really, it was impossible! Her skirt completely defied all laws of gravity! Not that she knew what the laws were but still! HAH. Take that Newton. Maybe her skirts were magical. Or maybe the show was rated Pg-13 and the showing of panties was prohibited. Too bad for Miroku.

'Any time now…' the two under the tree thought.

Why? Why was it always her who got kidnapped, and targeted? Why was it always her who had to be clumsy and useless? Did she have a sign on her forehead saying "Weakest link; must be saved"? She thought not!

Now, the couple under the tree were getting a bit impatient. Couldn't Kagome just look, cry, bitch, insult, heap guilt on Inuyasha, and get it over with? They really just wanted to get to their break time, which they could only get once they finished their part in the story. They'd been snogging for the last ten bloody lines! Cripes, could the girl be more slow? Finally Inuyasha attempted to get her attention.

"Um, Kagome? Making out with Kikyo here. You know? The one who tried to kill you? And gave our shards to Naraku? And trying to steal the excellent specimen of the male species that is me from you? Yeah that on-"

"HUSH! I'm trying to be angry at my skirt here!"

Inuyasha was so annoying. Always being macho and trying to prove how strong he is. Then he has to go and interrupt her analysis of her skirt. Look at him standing there impatiently, with his arms around Kikyo. Humph. Loser. She ought to give him a piece of her mi- Hey. Wait a damn minute! Backtrack a sentence there. HIS ARMS AROUND KIKYO?!? WHY THAT LITTLE- okay. Calm down. Breath. In, out. In, out. She was better than him. She'd be reasonable. She'd only sit him to America _after_ she deep fried his ass. That sucker better be ready to meet his maker.

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insert scene where Kagome basically blows up and starts crying, bitching, insulting, and heaping guilt on Inuyasha in general

…

……insert Jeopardy/Elevator music……

…………

…………………and now on with the story.

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"-AND I KNOW YOU STILL SLEEP WITH THAT TEDDY BEAR I GAVE YOU! SISSY! I HATE YOU INUYASHAAA!!!!! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT DAMN IT! SIT SIT SIT!"

Boy, Kagome was on a roll! It felt so good to let him have it! Who knew saying a three letter word could be so therapeutic? Now that she'd started, there was no stopping her; short of knocking her out and dragging her away from the prone body of her first love. A.k.a her soon to be on the brink of death EX-first love.

"Oh my Inuyasha, you like a bit worse for wear. Why don't you SIT down next to where I'm SITting? Everyone has to SIT down once in awhile. Isn't SITting just relaxing? I love to SIT and admire the view."

Huffing, out of breath, and finally out of things to say, Kagome whipped around and prepared to make her dramatic exit from the meadow. But being the clumsy person she is, she tripped over a tree root that was conveniently placed in her path.

Damn. So much for the dramatic exit. Stupid tree.

--.--.--.--**TBC**……--.--.--.--

AN:…and that my friends, is the beginning of a work of art!

Otaku-Hime: LIAR!

Okay okay, so I'm no genius, but one can hope, no? Geez, I thought you were my friend…

Anyways, I hope you liked it. DON'T WORRY! Pt2 will be coming asap. At the end I'll put it all together, but right now it's 3:30am and I'm dead tired. Not to mention I have tons of things due soon that I haven't even started. Smart huh?

Oyasumi Minna-san! PLZ REVIEW! Pretty Please? With a cherry on top? -Big Puppy Eyes-


	3. Chapter 3 Healing an Injured Sess Pt2

AN: First of all, a HUGE THX to Fiasco (review1) and jo jo (review2) for being my first two reviewers!! Kudos to nekoAmi30 for being my third reviewer! And TheJell-0Girl and Lenora for being my fourth and fifth! You guys rock! I'm so happy you guys reviewed! And everyone else, tsktsk! Shame on you!! XD not that I can say anything, 'cause I forget to review all the time too. BUT it would make me one very happy person if you guys left a few words, even if it's just one! I'm cool with Flames, they're welcome as long as they are just and backed up. My house is too cold anyways XP

Now, normally I'm not supposed to reply to reviews in the story. But I hope they'll let me make an exception for you three XD

**Fiasco:** YUM! Thx for the crackers! How'd you know I like animal ones best? I'm so happy you like my fic! We're two peas in a pod we are! Please keep reading and laughing!

**Jojo:** You're welcome! I noe what you mean, I love stories like this, but there's basically none out there so I thought what the heck? I'll make one:D Thx for the narcotics suggestion! Funny thing is I had Kag do just that! -kinda.

**nekoAmi30:** Thx for reviewing! Here's the next update!

**TheJell-0Girl**: Thx so much! XD I love being loved! here's the update!!

**Lenora**: Why Thank You! I do try. Hope you like this chappie!

THX to ALL my Reviewers! Hope you like the next part! Just so you guys know this is a fun kinda filler chappie, so there aren't many clichés. But there will be in the next part! Share the laughter everyone!! XD

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**Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sess Pt2**

Date: Jan 22, 2007

Pairing: Sess/Kag

Summary: Kagome finds Inu with Kik (big surprise -.-) and runs away, only to come across an injured Demon Lord she feels compelled (hey I'd be compelled too XD) to help. Will love ensue? You bet your ass it will!

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Kagome ran crying through the forest, forcing her legs to move past their limit.

Damnit! Wasn't the one sign on her forehead enough? Did she have one on her back too? Maybe it said something like "hopeless sap; walk all over and take for granted". Yeah, that sounded about right. Why did everyone take advantage of her?! Even the trees had it in for her! GEEZUS!

You know you're having a bad day when you stumble into a random clearing, catch your first and EX love with your worst enemy, and can't even make a proper dramatic exit after verbally beating said ex-love. Wow, some one up there must really hate her with a passion. Fate? Mother-nature maybe? Very possibly both.

Okay, now that her crying and feeling sorry for herself session was reduced to small hiccups, she could get on to her VERY angry emotions. Kagome was so terribly mad, steam was coming out of her ears. No, seriously. Or not. She wondered. Was that even possible? Or maybe people just liked saying that. Who really gave a damn? Anyways…

Stopping in her dash through the forest, she looked around to see what could be substituted for her favourite three letter word. Unfortunately, she then realized that she hadn't been looking where she was going, and was now lost with no clue how to get back to civilization. Or whatever was closest to it in this time and age; a small village would suffice, as long as there were people!

God, why did this always happen to her? Wasn't there any other poor sap the fates could toy with for awhile? Seriously! This was just too much!

Out of pure frustration and anger, Kagome turned to the nearest tree and kicked it as hard as she could.

…oww.

Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

Stupid tree number two.

So there she was, hopelessly lost, and trying to vent her anger a poor and hapless tree which only lead to her self inflicted pain. What did the tree ever do to her you ask? Remember the random tree root that she tripped on, thus ruining her dramatic exit? Yeah, 'nuff said.

If she could just get her hands on that clay pot what wonderfully evil and torturous things she could do. Sitting Inuyasha wasn't enough. Kicking that tree only made her foot hurt, and probably gave mother-nature a reason to get back at her. Not that she needed a reason apparently; it was like Kagome's life was her favourite chew toy. God, she needed more stress relief.

The notion that Kagome was a kind and generous soul? Yeah, not so much. At least not to a specific few apparently. :cough: Kikyo :cough:cough:

It was at that moment, while stomping blindly through the forest that she tripped over a tree root.

Again.

Joy.

That's exactly what she needed to brighten up her day, NOT! Another random tree root mysteriously appearing right in front of her path. Was that just mother-nature making a statement? (Probably.) Or did she anger a random tree god or something of the like? Oh yeah, she might've.

Okay, the whole kicking the tree incident? She didn't mean that. Honest. So could mother nature PLEASE give her a break for maybe Ten Minutes?!? Was that really so much to ask? But moving on, back to Kagome's current situation:

Wonderful, not only was she hopelessly lost, she had tripped into a random clearing yet again, and her foot was starting to smart where she kicked that tree. Life was a bitch. A really cold one. A really really REALLY cold one.

Deciding that she had nothing better to do, Kagome started walking around the clearing. Out of no where her foot got caught on something hard and she suddenly pitched forward and went flying, hitting the ground face first in a brown gooey…substance was the best word for it.

What the HELL? First tree roots and now rocks?!? Now, that was just unfair. What happened to her ten-minute break? Mother-nature cheated! She really did NOT want to know the origins of that particular substance. She might just have to do something drastic. Like hurt something. And while it wasn't in her nature to do so, she'd gladly accept anything she could pummel and scream at, without later feeling guilty.

Mubling to herself, at the injustice of the world and how lady luck must hate her for unfathomable reasons, Kagome made to walk to a big tree she could sit under and work to rid herself from the brown substance of dubious origins.

SMACK!

…she'd walked into the tree.

Fantastic. Just what she needed. Insult to bruise.

Damnit, she could've sworn the tree was farther away!

Thinking to nurse her wounds, she walked around the tree to get to the stream behind it.

Ah, water. Now here was something that wasn't out to get her. Honestly, what harm could water do? It was….well, water. It wasn't solid, and thus it couldn't hurt her. Very reasonable reasoning on her part.

Standing, Kagome turned to walk back to the tree when the dirt under her foot gave, and she fell in the stream.

Wow, this was a new record.

Someone must ABSOLUTELY DESPISE HER VERY EXISTANCE TO TORTURE HER LIKE THIS.

Holding back a shriek of frustration, she got out of the water and made a beeline for the tree again; head held up high, nose in the air. She'd take whatever they threw at and by god she'd take it with her head held up high! She had pride damnit!

And now would be the point where she felt compelled to say "It couldn't possibly get any worse could it?". But of course, something would inevitably happen, and it would most likely be much worse.

Kagome shrugged. What the hell? Everything that could've gone wrong had gone wrong already.

"What else could possibly go wrong?!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.

Hah! Take that Fate. Bring it on! There was nothing she couldn't handle now that her day was kaput anyhow. Really? What else could there possibly be?

'I am WOMAN hear me ROAR!...'

"Human, cease your yelling."

'……meow?'

Oh, that. Okay fine, maybe things could get worse. How the hell was she supposed to know Fate had it in for her? Stupid fate. Always playing with her life like it was a favourite chew toy, and tearing it apart to tiny little pieces.

Alright, was she done stressing over the situation?

Lost? Check. Alone? Check.

"Human." Sesshoumaru growled.

Currently, in the presence of one (big ass) lethal demon lord? Check.

"Do not collapse on this Sesshoumaru."

Wow, was it just her? Or did everyone else find his was habit of talking in the third person kinda annoying? Because it was starting to annoy her, just a little. Okay, maybe a lot. What was with him and talking in the third person anyways? Yeesh, you would've thought he'd be more grammatically correct when talking seeing as he's the Lord of the West. Oooh, she could see the headline now. "Lord Big-Ass-Jerk of the West in need of speech lessons. Beware." The press would have a field day…

Wait, what was she supposed to be doing again?

"Human…" This time he gave her the evil eye too! Wow, she must be going up on the feudal era social ladder. She went from murderous glare to the evil eye in under seven minutes!

Oh right, panicking. Back to business then.

Everything check? Ok, now it was time to faint.

And so she did.

--.--.--**TBC…**--.--.--

AN:BE HAPPY. I was SO tempted to end it at the "…meow?" part. Which, by the way, is like one of my favourite lines of all time. I got it from Lolly, aka one of the most brilliant Paul-licious writers of all time XD luv ya Lolly.

I worked my fingers off to get this chapter as long as it is, in the amount of time I had, for you people. Not to mention the sleep I lost getting this written. Just goes to show how much I love you guys, so please review:Puppy dog Eyes:

Stay Tuned For:

Healing an Injured Sess Pt3

….the finale! I think. I'm pretty sure I know what I want to happen in Pt3 and if I can get it all in that'd be great XD it is supposed to be a one-shot after all. This also means the Pt3 update will most likely take a bit longer.

After that, I'm thinking of doing an Inu/Kag, where Inu finally realizes how much Kagome means to him, after he treats her badly (I think u can guess how) and she is sent home by the jewel. Thus he's got 500 years to wait and make up an apology.

OR

I'll do an Inu/Kik one-shot. Where Kagome, being the kind hearted person she is, lol, wishes kikyo back to life and my some fluke of nature both can live a the same time. Inu then has to teach Kikyo to love again.

Gimme FeedBack PLZ! I'll probably end up doing both in the future. IF you have any requests, please send them in! I'd love to hear them! And I want to try as many pairings as possible, to see if I can do it well.

I'm mostly a Sess/Kag shipper, but I do try to follow the other pairings! There are some really good fics out there, that don't even have a lot of romance in them! So commissions are welcome! I can only do one at a time though, and I'll probably finish the ones I have in mind before I get to what you guys send in. I also won't pick in any particular order and write the one that I feel like doing at the time. Not because I don't love you, I love all my reviewers XD

It's just, sometimes I feel like writing one thing, and the next week another. I've started so many stories, and only got like a few pages before I got hit with writers block. Writers Block is not cool.

Which reminds me. If you like humour as much as I do (XD as you can tell I like it a lot), then please visit the story I started to co-write with my friend Otaku-Hime last year. Its called "30 Days With You" and its chock full of laughs. We had a blast writing it. But the awful thing called writers block hit us, and has yet to leave us alone. If you're interested, visit my bio and there should be a link.

Much Luv Y'ALL! XD

P.S. does anyone have any good fic suggestions? I've gone through so many fics, it's hard to find new ones that interest me. I'm already caught up with my incomplete faves, I've read all the books I have and have yet to visit the bookstore again, so now I have nothing to procrastinate with (procrastinators unite!...tomorrow! lol)! Please help me!


	4. Chapter 4 Healing an Injured Sess Pt3

AN: HEY EVERYONE! Miss me? XD

Fuyu-Sama here, with the next installation of cliché! Or rather, part three of one.

HUGE thx to all my lovely reviewers! I luv you guys! Due to the fact that replying to all my wonderful reviews (virtual treats for all!) would take up a good portion of this story, and I'm pretty sure the admin wouldn't like it very much (-considering I'm not supposed to be replying to reviews at all-) there will be no replies here.

At the end of this cliché, I'll make a list of all who reviewed and reply to y'all there, k? I'm thinking maybe with the epilogue.

BUT if you leave your e-mail in your review I'll be more than happy to send a small thanks your way to tide you over until I can put out a proper thx XD.

P.S. I AM SO SORRY FOR DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH! School won't stop trying to kill me with work.

P.P.S. Lasako, I love you and the way you think. We're gonna be the best of pals! XD I'll keep your ideas in mind!

P.P.P.S. Jak and Laz, I would love to read your fic! Thx so much! Srry it took so long for me to put this up!

P.P.P.P.S. FOR ALL READERS! If I have "-.-" that sign any where it probably means a POV change. Just FYI. Now onto the fic for real!

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**Cliché 1: Healing an Injured Sess Pt3**

Date: Feb 21, 2007

Pairing: Sess/Kag

Summary: Kagome finds Inu with Kik (big surprise -.-) and runs away, only to come across an injured Demon Lord she feels compelled (hey I'd be compelled too XD) to help. Will love ensue? You bet your ass it will!

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Sesshoumaru was not a happy puppy.

His day had started out fine and dandy. Then that stupid youkai had the gall to attack him. HIM. Sesshoumaru Taisho! Why he never! All had always bowed and cowered before him, and he expected no less of such a pathetic youkai as the snake that had dared to assault his awesome being.

He absolutely demanded that the youkai cower before him in fear. It was only right, him being the Tai of the lands and all, as was his birth right. But nooo. The snake had to go and inject him with poison as it lay dying courtesy of Sesshoumaru's claws…

And he was trying to be nice by killing it with his claws instead of his poison! Humph! That's what you get for kindness, a nice stab in the back! No wonder he hated every living thing on Japan, minus three beings. Two of which he tolerated, and the other he kept around for stress relief and kicking practice.

Anyways, enough musings, back to Sesshoumaru.

…That was how he found himself struggling for every breath under a tree, in the middle of a confounded field. He hated fields. Especially those of the flower kind. He loathed flowers. They were all colourful and bright –shudder- it chilled him just thinking about the vile things. It was no wonder he hadn't just up and left that ward of his in one such a field and never returned.

But alas, contrary to the biased thoughts about him, he was not heartless. Honestly, if he were heartless would he have let the human girl follow him around and protect her? He thought not.

He loved his sword; weapons were his one true love.

It brought him such joy, to feel the edge of his blade slice through the skin and bones of his opponent. To hear their bodies gasp for a final breath before collapsing to the ground.

It was as he lay, contemplating the necessities of weapons, that he felt the approach of a miko into the field.

Maybe he could scare this miko away with a glare and a ferocious growl. He loved his growl almost as much as his swords. Oh how he loved to scare others with his powerful glare and growl combination. It brought him such satisfaction that he could bring humans to their knees with a look.

And it was just so damn funny to watch them pee their pants in fear of him. Maybe he'd even throw in a threat or two just for the hell of it. It wasn't his fault that they thought he would devour them where they stood.

He scoffed at the thought that they would actually think he'd eat them. What a ludicrous idea! Did the humans not know that their disgusting taste would just make him gag? Sesshoumaru was no idiot and he certainly had no wish for stomach poisoning.

Well, well, well, if it wasn't his brother's wench. How did he recognize her scent when she was on the other side of his tree (that's right, HIS tree. Problem? –cracks knuckles- Thought not) you may ask? By scent of course you nimcompoop; it's not like you haven't already read who knows how many other stories like this one.

There was absolutely no reason for him to know her scent. None at all. It's not like he purposely sniffed when ever she was around. No. Ok, well maybe that was a bit of a lie. But there was a valid reason for his sniffing of her scent! It was how…unique she smelled. Not like all the other stinky humans. That's right, this Sesshoumaru called humans stinky. Be loud and be proud was what his father always told him!

…wait…or was it?...nah, nevermind.

What on earth is that miko doing? She just fell. Clumsy oaf. Tripped on a rock she did. (Hah, call just him Yoda!…-cough-) Albeit a sweet smelling clums – OK! Not going there. Nope, nuh uh.

Not going to think about how she smells. Not going to think about how she smells like sweet cinnamon and – damn it! So much for that. Stupid brain. Honestly, it's not like she smells all that nice. He knew lots of demons who smelled better than her. Like…like………like…alright maybe he didn't but that's part of the plot anyway so he didn't really get a say.

…What the devils is the girl doing _now_? She just fell into the stream. What a klutz. She must have been dropped as a child. Multiple times. Sesshoumaru snickered. No, not like how all we normal people do it. Sesshoumaru did not snicker. Sesshoumaru _snickered_. Uh huh, yeah, I don't really know where I get most of my ideas, and yes I do know that mental asylum is around the left corner. The men in white should be arriving in just a few minutes after this chapter.

Sesshoumaru scoffed. What a compete idiot!

-.- Mr. Plot elbows Sesshoumaru -.-

What the?!?

-.- Mr. Plot gives Sessh a pretty impressive glare -.-

Oh, right.

Idiot? What was he thinking?! The girl was positively ravishing! The drowned rat hair! The brown streaked clothing! Why she was indeed a beauty through and through. None could compare to her!

…well of course Sesshoumaru overshadowed everyone born to earth. It's a matter of fact. Everyone in the fanfiction world knows that no one is as hunk-a-licious as Lord Sesshoumaru. He could break the Hot-o-meter with a glance. Well, with the exception of Dark Mousy, duh, but that's a different story for a different fandom.

Oh look, it's the miko again. Now, she was drenched from head to toe. Sesshoumaru smirked. Wet clothes did interesting things…not that he was looking at her somewhat transparent clothing hugging slim curve of her body. Nope, not at all. Deny, deny, deny, that was his motto.

Sesshoumaru cringed. The girl sure had an impressive set of lungs. But he did not appreciate the ringing in his ears from her shout, and he intended to let her know of his displeasure.

"Human, cease your yelling."

Sesshoumaru watched silently as Kagome slowly turned to look at him. She proceeded to blink owlishly at him, seemingly lost in thought. She acted as if she had not noticed him, or acknowledged his presence. Well, he would not be ignored!

Really though, her brain was on self destruct mode. If he looked closely he could see she was shaking.

He frowned. If she kept that up, she just might be stupid enough to faint on him or something.

Wait! Stop right there! That was not a funny thought! She could actually faint on him! Dear lord, what absolutely horrid luck. In his current condition he would not be able to move away. He could barely move his head as it was. He needed to do something, anything.

"Human. Do not collapse on this Sesshoumaru."

That did not seem to help matters all that much. If anything it might have made them worse. Damn, he really did have the worst luck. Well, he'd at least give talking to her one more shot. He'd give her his most fearsome growl and evil eye combination.

"Human…"

No luck. Gauging, her reaction he concluded that his efforts were wasted. One last shot then.

He willed with all his demon might, that the girl would not do what he though she would. Alas, it was in vain, for Kagome looked on the verge of panicking and very close to unconsciousness. So Sesshoumaru sighed, resigned to his fate. Closing his eyes, he prepared himself.

Three…two…one…

Whompf!

-.-

Something was tickling her face, and it was starting to irritate her because she couldn't get back to her sleep. But it was a soft something so she didn't really mind.

Kagome was so peaceful, and her pillow was so fluffy! She could vaguely hear the sounds of the pit pattering rain in the background of noise. She just wanted a few more minutes of sleep before Inuyasha would undoubtedly come and rudely wake her up.

She sooo did not want to get up. She was wet and cold and her pillow was so comfy! She didn't know when her mom bought her this pillow but she was going to hug her mom when she went back home. It was absolutely the best pillow ever. So soft, fluffy, and furry…wait a minute. Since when did she go to bed wet and cold?

Kagome slowly became aware of her surroundings and the hard ground beneath her. Okay, so she was in the feudal era. Any minute now, Inuyasha would come back from one of his little trysts he thought she didn't know about, and scream for everyone to get their lazy asses moving.

Right?

No, wait again.

Since when did she take fluffy pillows with her to the feudal era? She wouldn't risk damaging her precious fluffy pillows! So what then, was she sleeping on?

Stretching out her senses that she had obviously been working to tone, Kagome gulped as she recognized a familiar aura. Right next to her. The one she was on apparently. This was not looking good. Maybe if she kept real quiet he wouldn't notice her. But she was practically on top of him! How could he not notice? Sesshoumaru was not stupid.

…or was he? She stifled a giggle before it could make itself apparent to the dog demon. She could not give him any more reason to want to kill her. He already had so many though. Great, she was screwed. Dead either way. Things did not bode well at all for our favourite miko to torture.

"Wench…"

And it just got ten times worse.

-.-

How could it get worse than this? Here he was, that great Sesshoumaru, sitting injured in a flower field with an unconscious miko half strewn across his lap. He did not like being treated as the miko's personal pillow. He did not appreciate that at all. If he ever met fate, he'd be sure to give it a good beating via his fluff of doom! Er, I mean, his tail-thing-a-ma-bob.

Huh? What do you mean that's not in the script? Oh alright…his _ass kicking demon powers_. You people are so boring…

Just his luck, when things could not seem to get any worse, it had to start raining. It always started raining when people thought that it couldn't get any worse. The rain had come upon them quite suddenly and for no real apparent reason. Wonderful. At least it looked like that miko was recovering from her faint.

"Wench…" Sesshoumaru growled.

Kagome gave the annoyed demon a weary glance from her spot.

"What, dog man?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes, if possible, narrowed even further. Now he was pissed.

Kagome just shrugged. She was dead meat anyway; why not go out with a bang? Besides, she'd been itching for the chance to finally tell off Your-Royal-Jerkness-Sesshoumaru.

"Remove yourself from my person."

"No."

Sesshoumaru just continued to glare at her. It wasn't like he could really do anything else, and Kagome could tell from his injuries.

"No sireee. I'm actually pretty comfortable right where I am. I think I'll wait out this rain right here."

Sesshoumaru was beyond pissed.

"WENCH-" Sesshoumaru started again, only to be slightly dumbstruck when he was interrupted by a very angry miko. HOLD ON! HIM! The great Sesshoumaru was interrupted! Now, that simply would not do.

"THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU DOG MEN!" Kagome thundered. "I have had it with you retards not having enough brain cells to even remember my name! I MEAN REALLY! It's not like it's an especially hard name to remember! Three fricking syllables people! My name is Kagome! Not wench, human, babe, toots, Mary-Sue, Sailor Moon, or even cuddly bear! It's nothing of the like! Though I wouldn't mind that last one all that much if it was used by someone I liked. But I digress. Back to my point that I make all too often. My NAME is KA-GO-ME! Must I engrave it on your neck for you?!" Yes dear readers, that _was_ a Loveless reference.

Well…that was certainly………unexpected.

--

To say Kagome was scared shitless would be an understatement.

She had just insulted the one most powerful youkai in the vicinity and possibly all of Japan.

Wow, who knew she must've hit her head as a child? It was the only explanation for her momentary lapse of sanity.

Oh sanity, what a fleeting figment of the imagination you are.

If only you would stay for five bloody minutes, so Kagome could retain some form of a proper life.

Alas it was not to be so, and the elusive sanity would forever be far beyond her reach.

How cruel fate was.

Jackass.

Life sure sucked.

--

She'd….insulted him!

Why he'd never—

BAM!

Ouch…stupid plot…getting in the way of his human hating ways…fine then…BE THAT WAY!

-Mental Cough- Fangirl translation:

How brave she is!

She is unlike any human he'd have ever encountered!

In hindsight, she really is a unique human…miko…whatever the heck _it_ was. Like for instance that time he tried to kill her, and she survived by a fluke of luck! And then there are all those times she has stopped his awesome powers with her measly arrows!

She must really be a strong female! I finally admire her!

…okay, plot satisfied? This Sesshoumaru does not think he could stomach this clichéd patheticness any more than he can stomach humans.

…

Oh yeah. He forgot something.

Ahem, and now I finally and genuinely admire and respect her!...-mutter-…not -cough-

…now?

-.- plot gives thumbs up -.-

…good. One less nuisance.

STILL! A human miko had insulted him. HIM. Sesshoumaru Taisho! Why he never!...hmm…wait a minute…

Why was he getting this sense of déja vu?...

…right! He remembered. It was the whole reason he was in this god forsaken field in the first place.

No, wait another minute…

Oh yeah. Crap.

Was she going to poison him too? She better not. Then again, if that would mean he wouldn't have to be in this field any longer…hehe, bring on the poison! (/bring it on?)

He might just have to take drastic measures to insure his sanity. Or whatever was left of it at this point.

He really needed to get out of this field. And hire a therapist while he was at it.

--

Kagome peeked from where she was cowering, to see that Sesshoumaru had yet to make a move and kill her. Well, that was always a good sign.

Maybe she could make a quick getaway what he was otherwise occupied. Okay, so how should this be done? Slinking? No, he'd notice. She'd have to crawl her way. Kagome sighed, there went another uniform. At least she had her head still attached to her head. Getting down on all fours, Kagome started crawling.

She was halfway to the safety of the forest when a thought struck her. So fast she almost got whiplash.

Why was she the one running…no, crawling away? He was the one who insulted her first. He's the one who laughed at her! She had every damn right to be angry with him! And she'd damn well show him so too!

Mind made up, Kagome shot up from her crouched position and swung around to face the demon lord again. She was going to march right up to that arrogant demon and slap him silly! That was what she was going to do! She took a deep breath and started walking.

She could do this.

No she couldn't!

She could DO this!

No, no she couldn't!

Damn it girl! Get your act together!

No wait! Just turn around and run like a mad woman! DO IT! DO IT NOW!

Act…together…..

You can run anytime now…..we're not getting any younger, and if you make another step we won't have to worry about aging because we'll be DEAD. Does the word ring a bell?

Come on! Just think like the little train that could…despite the fact it was crushed to miniscule scraps to make cooking pots for Home Outfitters the next day.

By the time she reached the demon lord she was hyperventilating and couldn't see two inches in front of her. So of course she completely missed the protruding root, and caught her foot on it. Which sent her flying into Sesshoumaru. Again.

Brilliant.

--

She actually did smell very nice. He wouldn't mind having her around if only so he could have her smell around him at all times. Hmm…Chains? No. he didn't think she'd react kindly to chains.

And she really wasn't that bad looking. For a human that is. Nice hair is a must, and she had really nice hair and eyes. The most unusual color of eyes he'd ever seen. They were a deep ocean blue. The kind of mesmerising blue that you could get lost in pretty quickly. He really liked her eyes. Her chest didn't sag either, like so many females. How come she got to be so pretty? Why she was almost as pretty as he was! She'd compliment him nicely if she were by his side. You know, the whole contrast thing.

He vaguely registered that the miko was making her way back to him, and that she looked determined about something. She probably thought he didn't notice her trying to sneak off. Sesshoumaru noticed everything. He was not stupid.

And then it hit him. No it really did; in the form of a young human miko with impossibly blue eyes, who had just tripped into him –AGAIN- and was currently depleting him of much needed air.

He was in love.

With a feisty miko no less.

Who was STILL ON HIM AND THUS NOT ALLOWING HIM TO GET ANY AIR. He would need to do something about this.

Meh, technicalities. Everything else was technicalities when you were in love.

Which brings us back to our previous point.

_Sesshoumaru_ was in _love_.

No, really, he was.

No, not like that time he confessed to the demon princess next door at the tender age of eight years old, which resulted in the birth of Angsty Mondays for the rest of his somewhat natural life.

Love…

Hot damn.

--.--.—TBC--.--.--

AN: Okay, okay, so I lied. This isn't the last chappie. I'm pretty sure the next will be though. Again I was sorely temped to end it much earlier than I did (I kind of jump around while writing this), but I felt bad it took so long for me to update, so I thought you guys might as well wait a few more days and I could give you an even longer chapter! XD

Sorry to my faithful reviewers for the long wait! I was in Quebec a few weekends ago on a school trip. And then I hit the slopes with my family and friends. Damn it was cold! Half the time I didn't know if I had a nose, fingers or toes anymore. Dog sledding and snow tubing was fun though! XD And then Homework –shudder- drowned me. But I have persevered! I am alive!! YAHOO! XP

So anyhoo, here's your update! And I made it extra long to make up for my tardiness! Review please!

The next, and hopefully last, part will be up asap! And I have an epilogue on mind! Do you guys want the epilogue separate, or attached to the end of the last chappie? I'm thinking separate….provided I get permission…hmmm…

I'm thinking of putting up review responses and thx along with the epilogue. So sit tight folks! The, hopefully, last chappie is coming your way soon! On is Miko-Sama, signing out!


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